May, 1983

You know, it's funny how these things go. It's funny how people turn up that I can rely on, just when things seem bleakest.

I like Grania. She's a great girl, and a wonderful friend. It kind of blows my mind to think that she's only 19, though. I remember being 19. Those were crazy times, let me tell you. Anyway, I took her and her boyfriend out to drink to commemorate - and stayed relatively sober at this point.

It's funny, because I don't think she knows just how much she's helped me. I don't think she ever will.

I need to bring her over. I want her to meet Max.

Speaking of, we're rounding 4 months now. 4 months! Max's starting to show some - and I can't even describe in words how I feel. It's just a lot of I don't know. But, she's beautiful. I can't help but to look at her when she's not paying attention.

5 more months, and then it's here.

We've got to make the appointment with the healers...but, honestly, I don't know if I want to know the gender. I dunno - it might be nice to have it be a surprise, like father's before me had. I'd be good either way, but...well. I could teach my son loads of stuff, and play quidditch with him out in the backyard and all. 

Oh. Right. I brought her home, so I could tell my folks. That went...surprisingly well. Amazingly well. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better. And you know what? We needed that. And even with my mother embarrassing me, and yelling at us for being late when she said dinner would be served in 5 minutes, we needed that. It's times like these that remind me exactly why I was so drawn to Max in the first place, why I couldn't stay away.

 April, 83

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 April, 1983

Holy...shit.

Max has drifted off to sleep, finally. I can't.

What...what am I going to do? What are we going to do?

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It's not like we didn't - we were always careful about...

God, tonight was a fiasco. The last time I remember feeling anywhere remotely close to this, I was in sixth year and had just found out that my girlfriend had cheated on me. Except, it's different this time around. It's a different kind of hollow in my chest - like there's this gaping hole in the middle of my body. I can't think straight - I can't keep one train of thought for longer than a minute or so. Everything is so scattered and rushed.

She looks peaceful, though. Beautiful, even. She looks better than she has in days - I suppose whatever Darius gave her is working well.

I'm not ready to be a father.

 March, 1983

Max is sick.

I don't know what she has - she doesn't even know what she has. But I'm starting to worry.

She feels nauseous a lot, and generally ill. And though she claims she's fine, I can hear her vomit when she runs off to the bathroom.

At first, I figured it must've been a bug she caught, or some sort of food poisoning, but it's been going on for a bit too long now. She doesn't want to visit St. Mungos, the stubborn girl.

I think I'll ask Nosfertum to make a house call.

 March, 83

Fucking hell. My wand has been confiscated and is being examined back at the department. Meanwhile, I have an appointment at Ollivander's tomorrow, just in case.

I feel like I've been stripped bare without my wand. Naked. Humiliated, almost. I've had it since I was 11 - it's as much a part of me as my arm...

I feel more vulnerable...I feel more angry.

That mist in Hogsmeade - that cloaked man. He's mine.

In the meantime, I think I might've just stumbled upon a breakthrough...

 March, 83

That's it. I've been stuck in the house for much too long.

I need to go out more often. To places other than the Department.

Poker was fun last night. Almost too much fun. I've got to watch myself - make sure that I keep things under control. I can't lose control like I did last time.

I should probably try to get Maddox out too. So, I'm thinking about making the poker night a fairly regular thing - so long as it's well under control. Already, I've got a couple of regulars to go for it. Gideon Thorne, and Morissa Kavlin.

Back to mysteries. I've been researching religious boats and vessels - trying to find some sort of note on the construction of abnormal boats.

January, 83

And I'm back in action! It's been a while, hasn't it?

For the past couple of months, I've been in Greece, tending to some personal business. Gramps was ill, and therefore assembled the family to discuss a few issues. Naturally, I was required. The old man loves me, and I'm pretty fond of him too. Discussions in regards to financial matters were made.

Meanwhile, I took the liberty of scouring Greek literature for folklore, anything of possible interest to the Ministry. I've found a few interesting cases that I want to look into, but so far, it seems inconclusive.

Ah. It was a good semi-break. It's odd coming back to England in January with a tan, but boy am I glad to be back. The house is brilliant, and I am needed here. Poor Max - I'm not sure exactly what she did for all that time. Looks like she was being generally productive, from the little I heard last night before we went off to, err, bed, but I bet you she was also generally being a hermit. I've noticed she has a tendency to do that. She locks herself in the house at times - it's unhealthy.

I missed the holidays, which I feel fairly guilty about. I'll have to make up for lost time. I missed my friends. I missed work. I missed her.

But, everything's fine now. Life is good.

It's a new year. New oppertunities.

September, 82

So, I'm a happy bloke. I've been taxing myself too much lately. I need to relax more.

Max surprised me with a trip to California to see some of her muggle bands. Granted, this was more a treat for herself than for me, but it was bloody brilliant. I decided to skive off work on Friday and we just spent the entire weekend there, jumping from beach to beach, motel to motel.

Ehehe... Well, life is good.

I had a bit of a chat with Grania when I came back. She's an alright girl, I enjoy talking to her. It got me thinking. How do Unspeakables live exactly, knowing that the world might be riding on your shoulders? Any day now, our ineptitude might just cause the demise of the very fabric of time and being. I suppose you need a superbe sense of humor to deal with the constant pressure without cracking.

I've just got to make sure to make the most of every situation and suck as much as I can out of this life.

Perhaps, if I feel particularly generous, I'll share this epiphany with Patrick McLoser. Second bloody time he interrupts me while drinking to blame me for how crappy his life is. It's been at least a month now, kid, if you aren't over it yet, do us all a favor and skip the bloody country or something extreme like that. Or at least own up to your inadequecies and stop using me as a scapegoat. I would've never met Maddox had she not have been driven out of Pat's house by his over-bearing...loserness. She left him before I was even in the picture.

August, 82

Well, that went almost exactly as planned.

It'll get Zephyr off my bloody back for a little while, at the very least. Maybe give him some new recruits to screw with.

I need to stay far away from gambling. It felt bloody good to be playing a game of poker, though... No.

Mikapalos old man, hopefully we wont regret it.